Some Songs

To say that my taste in music varies is an understatement

It’s dependent on what my soul is aching for at the time

The answer to what I need isn’t always clear at first

When it’s not, I have to stop and close my eyes, waiting for a beat, a voice

When my choice is made, I think to what brought me there

I’m no musician but I’ve roots of my own

They’ve grown from a seed planted in my ears since childhood

Some songs take me back to when I was five

Grunge, punk rock, ska, and 80’s KROQ

Tunes that blared from my mother’s Honda

Some songs remind me of the sixth grade

Rap metal that I sang along to without comprehension, just joy

Then the hard rock riffs were replaced with melodic, soulful belting and gothic lyrics

That stayed for a long while, dominating my high school years

I paid no mind to hip-hop until after graduation

Realizing that it wasn’t all “bitches and hoes”

There was something real there

I regret not seeing it sooner

But as I grew into adulthood, my origins always seemed to catch up with me

Metal made a comeback

I wanted nothing more than to shout and head bang, scream into the void over elaborate guitar solos

But between all of that…

Nostalgic Disney tunes? Musicals and Top 40?

I laugh now at my fourteen year old self, so hungry for an identity

Thinking I had to choose one type and stick with it

Because now I see that there’s room for all of it

And my ears hardly discriminate

As long as there is meaning, I will listen

As long as the rhythm takes me away for a moment

As long as it can be a three minute or more escape

As long as I can sing along, if only in my head, I will listen

Some songs speak to me more than others

But all the songs on my playlist

Are there for a reason. They must coexist.

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